Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Christmas Break 2

This is the first week of my Christmas break. I had a talk with Jimmy last night that was very encouraging... I love that man.

I am sitting here at the Hile's alone and it feels no different than if I am in a crowd. Not really sure about how that works. People want to hang out and I do as well but I do not feel like I used to around people.

I am really feeling like Tom Cruise's character at the beginning of the Last Samurai or Brad Pitt's character after his brother is killed in Legends of the Fall... I feel conflict in side of me... I feel my present circumstances and and I know my future destiny and they war against each other... I struggle to let God bring me into what He has promised me instead of making it happen myself... my spirit is warring against my soul... My spirit is winning but my soul is putting up one hell of a fight.
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2 comments:

  1. Scott & CindyDecember 16, 2009 at 11:14 PM

    It's an amazing time for you Matthew . As I read all of your entries , they are recalling 'the place' that prerequisites a greater love and understanding ,let alone ,opens the eye wider to see and to focus on 'passion' birthing in the heart.
    With what you already carry, He ,this incredible Creator ,is spinning questions,answers,possibilities of plan,purpose and Love between you and HE thru the embelical to feed a very uniquely formed 'passion' made for His pleasure. Your egg & His seed revealing yet another distinct portion of Jesus DNA upon the face of the earth .You're a loving & kind fruit bearer .Thank you for your authenticity!

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  2. Matthew Ryan KeatingDecember 24, 2009 at 7:06 PM

    Thank you Cindy... you are such an encouragement

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