Christmas Break

I just returned from the Streams Internship in New Hampshire yesterday. I flew part of the way with 2 interns, Kyle and Liz. I don't think I was the best company for them... I was kind of melancholy.

Then in Chicago I had a layover for a few hours. When Kyle and Liz left me I went and sat listening to my ipod and began to weep. I felt lonely to be in an airport full of people and have no one to talk to. This went on for an hour or so. I was not ashamed to cry in public, it was just hard to function. I was constantly checking on my flight. Soon I began to look at people and have knowings about their lives and pain. This made me weep more.

When I got to Cleveland, my wonderful Mom and Dad were there to pick me up. I was not in a talkative mood. We went to my sister's house and ate dinner but I could not really enjoy their company. This whole dark night of the soul makes it hard for me to be around people because I know they are uncomfortable around me.

People can not fill me... only God can. Where is He?

I do not want to be around anyone but I do not want to be alone. I am glad to be going through this before I am in public ministry, married, or have kids... I would hate to put them through this.